Insecure.

Assalamualaikum.

You alls! Recently I got my braces. I felt insecure at first. Cause' I always thought the way I laugh was ugly even before I got my braces. 

As I'm growing up..I feel more mature lately. Appreciating the small things in life. Cause' when you look around... things ain't that bad. I have those friends that don't judge me. Doesn't make me feel insecure to laugh or to smile. 

I know it's stupid to some people but I never feel beautiful. People never called me beautiful. People have said I'm pretty or cute. I don't want to make a fuss but I don't believe them one bit. I hate having my picture taken. Everyone else look so good then theres me~

I'm not saying people go calling me ugly..(never directly anyway) but there are a few who have said I look like an aunty. Slap! That sure hurt even if they said it jokingly. People think they can get away with jokingly insulting me.

You can't do that. I find it hurtful. They smile while hurting my feelings. I can't hate them though cause seriously they ain't bad people...and they said they were joking. But those words haunt me. Sometimes it's like the world is trying break me bit by bit!

People underestimate my ability...but that's not the bad part~ They also made me underestimate my ability. Making me believe I ain't capable of many things. Don't look at me as if I'm pathetic! It's like- people tend to think they can just do anything cause I'm nice. I don't want to feel obligated to smile everytime you hurt me.

Am I suppose to laugh? Act like it didn't hurt? What do you want from me? I don't want to be the girl who is negative and can't take a little teasing. The things you say, it's something I actually thought of but didn't want to believe. The fact you said it jokingly, the thing that made me insecure- outloud, like it was nothing. Hurt.

I'm just glad theres those few friends that make me feel theres no reason why I shouldn't smile. At least I have them. No one else opinion matters!