Guilt Trip

Assalamualaikum,

####BELOW ARE BUNCH OF COMPLAINTS AND RANTS######

I sometimes hate my head. I tend to feel guilty for people and then I get screwed over. Can anyone relate? 

I am a pretty free person so most of the times for whatever program or team project, I don't have an excuse for not doing things. I usually do not join many extra programs and at home, I can just focus on my work, I do not need to take care of my siblings who are only two and four years younger than me. I do little a bit of chore but nothing time-consuming.

So I get guilt-tripped a lot. I remember for one program which I was a committee member of. (I handled the food) I had to go to the cafe which is far from my dorm to order food. I went there for almost every day for maybe two weeks alone cause' my partner was busy meeting lecturers and stuff. It was tiring, cause I had to go as soon as my class end, up the hill and then wait till the cafe was open to sometimes find out the owner wasn't there and for some reason I can't have the owner's number so anytime there was any changes to the menu I had to wait outside the restaurant after class for a while to which I hope she is there. To all which sometimes my partner came with or not.

I remember her ordering me around, asking me to call the leader for confirmation. Which in hindsight, why couldn't she just confirm it herself? 

But that was what I get, my guilt told me just to do it because I had no reason to say NO, I let me be the one to communicate with the leader about the food and me be the one to see the cafe's owner alone because unlike her I was not busy with other programs and had nothing after class.

This one of the many examples of my guilt making me do more than I can chew.

This happens way too often, where although YES, the other person does have a reason to not do part of the work but it is called a team for a reason. The other person should have not joined or apologized for not being able to do something than just giving excuses as valid as it is. The partner should realize if one person doesn't do part of their work someone else has to pick up their slack cause' the job has to be done.

This semester was full of drama with a different type of group members and partners and many excuses. I had many mixed feelings. Between anger and disappointment to feeling guilty. It is one thing for that person not to do much, but then to make me feel guilty feels awful. I hated how I feel, I hate feeling angry and fighting, it is so petty. At least apologise or tell a person beforehand why. Thats all I ask for.

Of course, I am afraid the tables would be turned one day which then I have a lot on my plate and can't help people with something on our project. 

I told a lecturer about that, but then he replied by saying, that is no excuse because there are a lot of lecturers themselves who are studying while taking care of their children or having whatever personal problems but you can't use that as an excuse for not doing your part or work.

SO for those who burden their teammate and partners, how long will you use that excuse of being too busy or having problems to not do your part? Think of your future, we are all only students now.