Motivational Programs

I want to talk about my experience in a motivational, leadership programme starting from a specific moment. A moment I realized that this programme wasn't right for me.

There were many good moments in this programme and I can't deny that I learnt quite a few good things from this programme like how to study better. 

We had a session where we could share our problems, we could discuss them together and have the facilitator give us advice. I remember feeling very hesitant to list out my problems/insecurities on paper. I was so worried but eventually wrote it down. I wrote, "I have a problem with talking."

I am a shy person and very timid, and weirdly I think I was the only shy person in that programme. I want to know how people overcome their shyness. How do I get rid of my overthinking whilst talking to another person?

Anyway, after we all wrote down our problems, some volunteers went to stand up and share what their problem was. I started getting really nervous because all their problem was academic/study-related. None of it was mental/psychological.  So I was hesitant to volunteer about my problems, but one of the facilitators passed by me and looked at my paper. And was puzzled, "Problem talking? But you are talking?" It hit me, that these people didn't understand. Of course, I could talk, I wasn't mute! That wasn't my problem. I was so disappointed. 

The major problem I think in the program was, that there wasn't really any counsellor. I think all of the facilitators involved should have a particular background involving psychology. 

I feel like that programme was mostly filled with rich kids who wanted something to do on the weekends rather than kids who had problems. So I felt there wasn't a feeling of seriousness in handling us. 

The problem with many motivational programs/talks I feel that they don't acknowledge people's mental health.  

It really saddens me because out of all the places where you would think they could help you was a programme that was trying to teach us how to be better speakers and leaders. Because one of the end goals of the programme was actually for us to speak in front of an audience.

I feel like the response I got after the facilitator looked at my paper, just lacked empathy. I wrote that during a session where we were going to talk about our problems. So that was my insecurity. Maybe I am just too sensitive. Maybe that person was just trying to understand what I meant and I took it the wrong way. I don't know.

But that's the problem I think with the program, it was more focused on the outer appearance, doing the actions compared to understanding the physiological side of things. Why are students having trouble studying? Why do we have problems with speaking in front of an audience?

I think that's the problem with many of these programs that aim to motivate students. I feel like it just lacks empathy. You are lazy so that's why you are like this. You don't do these specific things so that's why you are failing... Humans are more complex than that. Sometimes that specific successful person's lifestyle or habits doesn't work for everyone. I remember one motivational speaker that came to my school emphasising how this successful student would drink coffee and stay up to study like we should all follow in that person's footsteps. They emphasise the wrong things in these talks. 

The motivators would bring up specific examples of a successful person's daily routine. Like bringing up how waking up at 3 am, being an early riser, is the way to go and etc. I do have some problems with it as it doesn't always work for everyone. Some people just function better in different ways and times. It's weird though cause some of these talks that schools/universities give, have promoted unhealthy lifestyles like it is the only way to succeed. For example, during my university orientation, they didn't let the program end early and made us sleep really late to emphasise how university life would be. I understand sometimes it's inevitable we will have days that we need to stay up to finish work but let's not glorify unhealthy routines. 

These motivational talks/programs sometimes just feel so scripted. It has a template. Actually, the best talks usually come from people who are talking about their own life and just share their experiences, like an alumnus. I feel like there is more empathy and understanding from them. Unlike, people whose actual job is "motivational speaker", counsellor or etc.

Of course, sometimes even from alumni, it can be a bit disconnecting, or hard to find them relatable cause some alumnus that comes by are prodigies and geniuses and there is a feeling of disconnect when I hear them talk. Their teachers/lecturers had always high up from them and expected good things even before they went out to work. Maybe it's because they don't talk about it during the talk/programme but it seems like they never had a moment of doubt in themselves. Even if they talk about how they did badly during primary school, it really means nothing to me because usually, the reason I think they did badly in primary school is that, at that age, some kids didn't understand the importance of exams. So I always find that weird for them to say, "Hey I did badly during this age, but here I am now~." Some of them usually just did badly at that age, cause they didn't get why they had to study and barely tried, but when they finally started studying they did well. 

Talk to me about what if you study hard, but still can't catch up with your friends. Talk to me about how you dealt with failure in your lives. Tell me about how you deal with feeling lost and how you decided on your career path. Tell me how you dealt with feeling like giving up. Maybe I am asking too much. Too personal. 

Truthfully this post was supposed to be about a SPECIFIC programme but ended up being a rant about motivational programs in GENERAL. I find it weird even in uni we have to endure motivational programs and they still come up with the cliche cry while thinking about your "dead" mum. I see the manipulations..and would not let myself cry. 

I just wish the motivational program had more empathy in it. That's all. Instead of feeling rehearsed.