A Friend's Wedding

Recently, I went to my friend from university's wedding. She was dazzling. We as a friend group aren't really known to be really fashionable, so it was also a very different side to her.

We were there since the morning, and she was really busy. Although we were bridesmaids, we were super free. Just taking pictures from the side. 

I didn't fully understand how I feel. When I first saw her glammed up, I did feel proud of her. I didn't feel like crying then, and I also don't easily cry anymore. Even when I do feel sad, it's hard for me to cry.

During the photoshoot in the afternoon, is when she was finally able to fully talk to us without being whisked away. We went to the park. It was us, the bridesmaid, THE bride, and her partner. (Reminds me of the meme: "What's a man doing here?". Although he is part of the main event, lol.) 

As we were saying goodbye, is when I suddenly fully broke down. I don't cry...I was shocked by my own reaction. My friends were surprised. The bride (my friend), started to comfort me and said she would still see me and talk, etc etc. 

As we were walking away, I started to wonder...why did I cry? It wasn't sadness. When I first heard about the wedding, first saw her at the wedding, I did think oh would our friendship and time with each other changed. But that didn't bring me immense sadness. It wasn't the thought of that, that bothered me. It was the fact that I was able to witness my friend in her new stage in life. Her happiness. And as I came to that realisation, I felt like crying all over again. Even now, it makes me want to cry. Which I feel silly about. Isn't that cringy? 

We weren't really the type of friends to be fully openly emotionally vulnerable with each other, so just crying felt like... am I being dramatic? Would she judge me and think I am being over-the-top?

I am just really happy for her. I don't think it was tears of sadness at all. Even if our times together lessen, I hope she knows I support her even from afar. I hope I still will be able to see her in different stages of life.