Speaking.

Maybe it's too late to make a new year resolution. I don't like making them cause' it tends to be the same as last year or...just small things I wanted to change about myself.

I recently just got my results, it is satisfactory. 

It made me think though, what should I change about myself this year to be greater. 

Let's not look back into the past and think about all the regrets, I shall go on onwards and be a better version of myself.

I was frustrated a lot last semester, because of other people...but also at myself. I thought I had grown, but maybe I haven't progressed at all. There still this habit I do when I am around other people. I am constantly being fake. I think I am fooling myself out of all people.

I envy my friend who gives no f about what people think about her. Why am I still so reserved, so scared? 

Anyway, this is just a small resolution but I want to speak English more now whether or not that person is speaking English with me I shall speak English with them! I am tired of stumbling around my words. I am going to speak manglish more precisely. I don't know why I force myself to speak fully in Malay.

I hate the way I sound when I speak Malay, I hear it and just cringe. I sound so formal, and the worse part about that is I can't change my speech pattern...(is that what it is called?).

*I have to make a speech in maybe a few days and I plan to speak English even if they don't want me to. Cause I know I shall mess up if I do it in Malay. *

Actually, it is not about me speaking English. My resolution is for me to speak my mind. Me, to not limit myself just to fit in or because I don't want someone to judge me. Me, being free!

I just thought I need to write this down to I remind myself to actually do it. Good luck to me!